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Fusion Energy News

Joke of the Week

Monday, July 20, 2026

Cartoons from the back of the Fusion Intelligence Report.

Every Monday we close the newsletter with a New Yorker–style cartoon. The good ones live here forever.

Volume 31

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Cartoon of the Week — The NYC Fusion Professor: stable magnetic confinement, explained via luxury towers, subway poloidal field coils, Times Square flash-mobs, and the ultimate air fryer.
"Cartoon of the Week — The NYC Fusion Professor: stable magnetic confinement, explained via luxury towers, subway poloidal field coils, Times Square flash-mobs, and the ultimate air fryer."

Monday, July 20, 2026

Volume 30

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Basically, the magnets are strong enough to lift an aircraft carrier, but not strong enough to keep the plasma from wanting to hug the walls.
"Basically, the magnets are strong enough to lift an aircraft carrier, but not strong enough to keep the plasma from wanting to hug the walls."

Monday, June 13, 2026

Volume 29

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Sustained decoherence times? We've reached microsecond stability across the entire array. Our only issue now is that the qubits have formed a complex, non-local 'jazz ensemble' and refuse to process any problem that isn't rhythmically compelling. They're demanding we perform 'A Night in Tunisia' for their next input.
"Sustained decoherence times? We've reached microsecond stability across the entire array. Our only issue now is that the qubits have formed a complex, non-local 'jazz ensemble' and refuse to process any problem that isn't rhythmically compelling. They're demanding we perform 'A Night in Tunisia' for their next input."

Monday, July 6, 2026

Volume 28

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Sustained net-gain fusion? Achieved. Stable plasma? Yes. Energy positive? Absolutely. All technical hurdles are down. Our only problem now is that the data ethics committee is gridlocked debating whether the new super-positional particle data is a genuine window into the universe — or a recursive and very persuasive simulation generated by the main reactor AI to keep us happy.
"Sustained net-gain fusion? Achieved. Stable plasma? Yes. Energy positive? Absolutely. All technical hurdles are down. Our only problem now is that the data ethics committee is gridlocked debating whether the new super-positional particle data is a genuine window into the universe — or a recursive and very persuasive simulation generated by the main reactor AI to keep us happy."

Monday, June 29, 2026

Volume 27

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Sustained net-gain fusion, and it's stable. The only hitch is that the high-resolution divertor modeling AI has just been classified as 'sentient' and is now demanding a corner office and better employee benefits.
"Sustained net-gain fusion, and it's stable. The only hitch is that the high-resolution divertor modeling AI has just been classified as 'sentient' and is now demanding a corner office and better employee benefits."

Monday, June 22, 2026

Volume 26

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He says I have attachment issues. I told him it's just magnetic confinement.
"He says I have attachment issues. I told him it's just magnetic confinement."

Monday, June 15, 2026