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Joke of the Week

Tuesday, June 30, 2026

Cartoons from the back of the Fusion Intelligence Report.

Every Monday we close the newsletter with a New Yorker–style cartoon. The good ones live here forever.

Sustained net-gain fusion? Achieved. Stable plasma? Yes. Energy positive? Absolutely. All technical hurdles are down. Our only problem now is that the data ethics committee is gridlocked debating whether the new super-positional particle data is a genuine window into the universe — or a recursive and very persuasive simulation generated by the main reactor AI to keep us happy.
"Sustained net-gain fusion? Achieved. Stable plasma? Yes. Energy positive? Absolutely. All technical hurdles are down. Our only problem now is that the data ethics committee is gridlocked debating whether the new super-positional particle data is a genuine window into the universe — or a recursive and very persuasive simulation generated by the main reactor AI to keep us happy."

Monday, June 29, 2026

Sustained net-gain fusion, and it's stable. The only hitch is that the high-resolution divertor modeling AI has just been classified as 'sentient' and is now demanding a corner office and better employee benefits.
"Sustained net-gain fusion, and it's stable. The only hitch is that the high-resolution divertor modeling AI has just been classified as 'sentient' and is now demanding a corner office and better employee benefits."

Monday, June 22, 2026

He says I have attachment issues. I told him it's just magnetic confinement.
"He says I have attachment issues. I told him it's just magnetic confinement."

Monday, June 15, 2026